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Sol Magazine's staff members dedicate this Edition to the late crew of the Columbia, Michael P. Anderson, David M. Brown, Kalpana Chawla, Laurel B. Clark, Rick D. Husband, William C. McCool, and Ilan Ramon. Although exceptionally well trained, these astronauts were ordinary folks with a extraordinary job to do, a job they did willingly and intelligently. They were our co-workers, neighbors and friends, and shared our dreams. On February 1, 2003, after a long successful mission in the service of humanity, they wrapped up one last scientific project, headed back into the earth's atmosphere, then found themselves forever delayed just sixteen minutes from home. They embodied the best of international cooperation and teamwork. While we wait to be reunited with them, may we each strive to accomplish as much with our lives as they have with theirs. Ad Astra.
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*Ad
Astra is Latin, meaning "to the stars."
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FEBRUARY - Sol Magazine © 2003
Membership Information and Submission Guidelines are posted at:
http://pages.prodigy.net/sol.magazine/rqmts.htm
============
FEATURED ARTICLES
| LETTERS |
| FROM -- Julie Hartman: I like the fact that yours is a teaching site along with highlighting the art of poetry. When I found out that my poem placed in the contest I floated through the rest of the day. Thank you so much for a great website and a most memorable day. [And from another note] This is my first acceptance. I cannot express to you in words how excited I am. Thank you so much for the opportunity. |
| FROM -- Candace A. York: I consider Sol among the mentors who helped me gain confidence to submit my writing to the various writing competitions and publishing venues that I worked with this last year. Your team helped me to write regularly and often, and helped me get past the uneasiness of showing my work. A big thanks...for all your support and for providing a forum for critique and feedback. Please do keep up the tremendous work you all do. It is very valuable for aspiring writers, and I know that you are helping many writers to get their start. So, thanks again for your support. |
FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $15.00 Electronic Book Gift Certificate.
The Shape of LoveCOMMENTS: This excellent Cinquain reminds us there are those things in a life together which have no monetary worth, however their value to us is incalculable. Fine succinct commentary.Heart shapes
left in paper,
the valentines are gone.
Sometimes, in love, even the scraps
are kept.Kathy Lippard Cobb, Bradenton, FL, USA
Be My ValentineCOMMENTS: Subtle use of alliteration balances the last two lines of this Cinquain. We can well imagine the message in the card!Spiteful
I thrust a card
In Emily's mailbox
Such sweet revenge to know it is
UnsignedSJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
Severing the VowsCOMMENTS: So much said in five lines of twenty-two syllables. This well metered piece is tough but poignant.Our names
on dotted lines,
a paper once bound us --
hearts broken, we reach for our pens
again.Deborah P. Kolodji, Temple City, CA, USA
Young Love
I was
in grade seven
when I first fell in love
with boys. I've drawn a thousand hearts
since then.
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
COMMENTS: Sounds as though the search for "The One" goes on.
There is a mysterious ambiguity to the final sentence.
=============
HONORABLE MENTION
Desperately Seeking
Finders
keepers, losers
weepers. I found your heart
in yesterday's paper, and now
I'm lost.
Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
COMMENTS: In the first sentence, this poet makes good use of
the well-known children's' taunt. The final sentence is heart rending.
Nicely done Cinquain.
=============
EDITOR'S CHOICE
Contents
Private
thoughts saved on sheets -
emotionless paper
where a heart's purposeful beats are
expressed.
Brady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Marks on sheets of paper are nothing until read. Then
the power flows. Much said in a few brief lines. Strong writing
in this interesting Cinquain.
=============
OTHER CINQUAIN COMMENTED UPON BY OUR JUDGE
=============
First Grade
Nan was
absent. I brought
her paper doily hearts
Starting our sixty-seven year
Friendship.
Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Nice story of a very long friendship.
=============
Stuck
You sketched
black-lined hollow
hearts on sticky labels
then pulled away slowly, causing
more pain.
Betty Dobson, Halifax, NS, CAN
COMMENTS: This is a well-done piece: oh, the pain of letting
go slowly!
=============
Kenmore Art
Our fridge
was hungry for
primitive paper hearts.
Until our grandchild slathered it
with love.
Kay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
COMMENTS: All grandparents recognize this refrigerator.
Personification an unexpectedly nice turn.
=============
My Valentine...
Fire
in my heart burns
only for you my sweet.
A paper card cannot express
my love.
Tim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
COMMENTS: A heated message indeed!
=============
What You Said
You wrote
Down on paper
How you felt about us.
Your words broke my heart, turned it to
Paper.
Mary E. Gray, Newport News, VA, USA
COMMENTS: Nice commentary on the power of the written word -
and the fragility of the human heart. Simply said, but strongly felt.
Well done.
=============
From Afar
So far
we're paper, still
dreams unfold like new leaves;
dewdrops soften the parchment of
my heart.
Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
COMMENTS: Long distance romance beginning to go from bud to bloom.
=============
The Other Hand
Lovely,
her green eyes said.
A red paper heart in
one hand, while the other hand held
my love.
Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
COMMENTS: Nice imagery. Ambiguity lends a pleasant air of mystery.
=============
Instant Recall
Tissue
white and crinkly
brings a gasp of delight.
A memory is captured in
her eyes.
Nancy Gail Hecko, Roswell, GA, USA
COMMENTS: We never expect them yet seem to have many of these
moments over the years.
=============
Buried Past
Interred
Eternally--
Forgotten memories.
Doily-covered casket entombs
School hearts.
Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA, USA
COMMENTS: Sometimes those old school hearts are best left to
rest in peace. Unforgettable imagery!
=============
Transition
too soon
the paper heart
folded by a child
becomes a tiny paper plane
to fly
Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
COMMENTS: We want them never to change, never to grow up. They
always do. Memorable imagery.
=============
Hand Crafted
Red, pink,
and white paper
in cut out shapes of love.
Valentines pasting together
our hearts.
Kathy Paupore, Kingsford, MI, USA
COMMENTS: Aren't handcrafted valentines always the best? Lovely
writing.
=============
Valentine's Day Rites
Just days
before parties,
my daughter cuts red, blue
and purple hearts, shyly signs them
"with love..."
Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Next year not so shy! Loving portrait of a child.
=============
Valentine Business
Lovers
rush out to buy
in mid-February
gushy valentines of red, pink
and white.
Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
COMMENTS: Pointed commentary on the commercialization of this
February occasion. Nicely done.
=============
After the Dance
Colored
red, paper hearts
drift from the balcony
like leaves, gather at my feet--pools
of love.
Judith Schiele, Brandon, MS, USA
COMMENTS: Strong imagery with very nice closing words.
=============
Torn Valentine
Moments
Of emotion
Etched in pink paper tears.
Shredded bits of red and white flesh
Torn off.
Marsha Steed, Roseville, CA, USA
COMMENTS: A strong piece with good use of metaphor.
=============
Valentine Box
Teacher's
orders: each gave
one to everyone. No
hurt feelings, no heartache, just plain
paper.
Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: At last! Democracy for sweethearts. Well-remembered
universal experience.
=============
Teaching Fact
scissors
cut white paper
red glitter and gluesticks
paste feelings of second graders
young love
Tony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Good use of alliteration to remind us most second-graders
love everyone.
=============
Tearing and Repairing
With a
careless word she
tore my paper heart. When
she saw my pain, with a kiss she
mended.
Gary Wade, Williston, VT, USA
COMMENTS: Nice depiction of the roller coaster ride from despair
to bliss - and probably back again.
=============
I Write
I write
From my soul's depths
On the paper of my heart
For all to see, in my eyes
Reflected
Daisy Autry Worrock, Abingdon, VA, USA
COMMENTS: Reminds us the eyes are windows of the soul.
Lovely phrasing.
=============
Delicate
Affairs
are easily
marred by deception's grasp.
Candor protects paper hearts from
the rain.
M. E. Wood, Belleville, ON, CAN
COMMENTS: An argument for honesty being the best policy.
Nice word choice.
WRAPPED IN RED: ONE CHOCOLATE ROSE
============
JUDGES: BONNIE WILLIAMS, BETTY ANN
WHITNEY
SPONSORS: LOIS LAY CASTIGLIIONI, SOL MAGAZINE
FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $20.00 electronic book gift certificate.
DevotionCOMMENTS: Rich images, effective rhyme, humorously portrayed.I bought you this box of chocolates,
Rich and brown as your beautiful eyes,
Wrapped in crimson and sculpted like flowers,
For a Valentine's Day surprise.I know it's a few days early,
But I don't dare keep this on my shelf.
I love you even more than dark chocolate--
But I still might eat it myself!Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
February BonbonCOMMENTS: Clear, crisp imagery. Interesting phrasing.Red and gold-foiled confections
chocolate tokens of love,
Cupid's arrows in February
arch ardor through the air,you take my hand and smile
and my heart wrapped
in a kiss of chocolate
melts in your breast pocket.Kathy Paupore, Kingsford, MI, USA
Trifling with TrufflesCOMMENTS: Imaginative take off on the ancient "daisy-plucking" saying, of "He loves me, he loves me not..." Lovely end phrase: "Shall I wait and trust in fate -- or give it a little shove?"I send them, I send them not,
I send them, I send them not . . . .
What a daisy-like dilemma;
this has got to stop!They say there's something in chocolate
that makes you feel in love.
Shall I wait and trust in fate --
or give it a little shove?Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
Is it more noble that I love myself more than he?
Or perhaps it's a genetic proclivity, a flaw of character?
Some say that the bliss-filled freedom I enjoy
is proof that I'm possessed by the famous naked Lady.
Condemn me if you must, but I will not be denied
the treasures found in downtown candy shops, where
the scent of chocolate truffles a l'orange is more enticing
--and fulfilling--than a dalliance with my Lord.
Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Delightfully illustrated, with an interesting closing.
The detail work in this poem is well put together.
=============
HONORABLE MENTION
Another V-Day Massacree' *
I tried "Death by Chocolate," **
but it didn't take. Unless perhaps
it's a slow, lingering death, somehow
involving pimples and cholesterol.
Doubtless I'll never know; I can tell you
that to die because of love
has really quite little to do
with the availability of roses.
George Matthew Stateson, Grand Prairie, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Beautifully written, ironic and wry, with a hint of
wonderfully dry humor seeping through every phrase.
*EDITORS' NOTE ONE: The "Massacree'" mentioned in the title refers to how Arlo Guthrie pronounces the word "massacre" in his song, "Alice's Restaurant." The 1967 lyrics, which may be read at http://www.arlo.net/lyrics/alices.shtml were written as a protest against the war in Vietnam.
**EDITORS' NOTE TWO: While you may know that "Death by Chocolate,"
is a reference to a very rich chocolate dessert, you may be interested
to know that it's also the name of an English rock band. In addition,
there are several books by that name, including a 1997 cookbook by Marcel
Desaulniers, and a mystery novel by G. A. McKevett.
=============
OTHER POEMS COMMENTED UPON BY OUR JUDGES
=============
Cocoa Amore
Why is it that when I look at you,
My tongue hides behind my teeth
Like a turtle in his shell, so that
I cannot say how much I love you?
But I know you like hot chocolate,
So I give you a big tin of it for
Valentine's Day, hoping you can
Divine my meaning from the brand.
Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
COMMENTS: Exquisitely put together, this poem is both original
and delicious. This poet shares her intimate thoughts and conjectures
in a very engaging way. Wonderfully demure and passionate all at
once. Thought provoking as well as provocative, charming.
=============
UT Austin
On Valentine's Day
Kay watched stoically
As streams of chocolate trickled
Through the freshman dorm.
Until flowers came for her
Bearing a card signed
"To my yellow rose of Texas
From your ever-loving brother."
Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Tender familial thoughts explain that universal bond
between siblings. A very sweet ending to a potentially sad day for
Kay! Were this written in one paragraph, with no line or stanza breaks,
it would qualify as a prose poem. Nice metaphor: "stream of
chocolate."
=============
Bon Bons
I knew it must be love
For the sailor always came
With Stover chocolates
Tucked under his arm
At the arrival of our first born
I was not surprised
When he suggested, "Let's name
The little fellow Russell."
Kay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
COMMENTS: Russell Stover Chocolates are famous the world round.
Using that reference makes this succinct piece shine. Think of how
this could have ended had he brought home Fannie Mae chocolates!
=============
Sense and Sensual
Would chocolate entice you into my arms?
Would fragrant roses entwine our hearts?
Is red the color of our love?
Are there words you long to hear?
I taste your silken skin.
I inhale the bouquet of your smile.
I see light inside you shine.
I ask, "Will you be mine?"
Tim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
COMMENTS: Love poetry in all its sensual richness. Well
done. Powerfully romantic, full of pure devotion and love.
Good use of repetition in final stanza and a final rhyme to seal it with
a poetic kiss. Excellent use of repetitive sounds though out, epitome
of
romance.
=============
Sweet Rapture
With love and chocolate,
open wide the senses
resigned to the parable
that has you mesmerized.
Each savored moment
tumbled and tossed sweetly on the tongue
prolonged by the slow melt of a
wrapped kiss.
Roz Garay, Riverside, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Careful phrasing permeates this poem, and ends in the
sweet "slow melt of a wrapped kiss." Yummy! Sensuous
sounds echo in this terrific poem.
=============
ValenTiny
I had expected red foil-covered roses,
perhaps an ornate card emblazoned
with multi-cloned sentiments
penned by someone who's never met me.
Then, that morning I awoke to find
a red velvet-lined box that held
a large red bow and ribbon which held
a tan and chocolate Chihuahua pup to love.
Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
COMMENTS: Puppy love tumbles the commercial world right off the
map - well done. Lower expectations, this poet explains, can sometimes
be shredded by the reality of a very dear and caring loved one. A
tender "tail," indeed! Surprise endings like this encourage the reader
to enjoy the poem again and again.
=============
Moments to Savor
Cream-filled confections ornately boxed
Heralded Valentine's Day.
Pastel crosses and milk chocolate sleighs
Filled stockings and baskets alike.
Like hugs and kissed you lavished us
With edible holiday love,
Each nibble a moment to savor
As too brief memories of you.
Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA, USA
COMMENTS: Lavish in life, the beloved is remembered sweetly afterwards.
Poignant and tender. Touching tribute.
==============
Housewife's Guilty Pleasure
Chocolate! It is my clandestine love.
Am I cheating on my husband?
I must be for I will not share
my secret stash with anyone.
I see his headlights and lick my hands
clean of any evidence. Washing my sin in dishsoap, I...
Uh-oh! He's mad! The door slams! He yells,
"Hon, I brought your favorite chocolates home!"
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
COMMENTS: Domestic drama, indeed! Clever writing makes
the reader wonder: Is the love of chocolate "cheating"? Nicely
done. Great ending for this guilt-ridden lady.
=============
Counting on Telepathy
Two days before cupid's day
I send him telepathic messages
no roses, please, just chocolate
and more chocolate.
On cupid's day he arrives
with love in his eyes
and hands me a box
with a chocolate corsage.
Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
COMMENTS: The best of both worlds! Careful repetition of
the word "chocolate" throughout shows the depth of this writer's feeling.
Clever work, e-mail/cell phones not needed, right on theme.
=============
In the park, alone
chocolate petals
dropping down
from tainted stems
onto the ground
drowned by emotion
melted away
love's dissolution
led them astray.
Brady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Fine writing by a skilled poet leads us to the vivid
scene of this "so sad" crime. Concise yet brimming with sentiment.
==============
Postal Valentine
Just in time for Valentines Day,
the mailman brings me a delicate box.
I open it up and see one chocolate rose
and a fancy floral card, signed by you.
The red wrapper so shiny and bright
envelopes the sweet brown confection.
It perks me up because you don't live near
but then, I smile, thinking, next year, love.
Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
COMMENTS: Serious and universal plaint about the distance between
lovers. It's a simple story, one repeated many times by many lovers,
but warm, and touching. Wonderful reminder that love thrives on a
box of hope.
=============
Giving and Keeping
A funny thing happened the other day,
I was given two roses. Each exquisite.
Carefully wrapped in a plastic
Allowing only the bud open to the air.
One, I unwrapped, taking off the plastic,
The next day, that flower drooped, head bent, wilted.
The other stood erect, firm, moist and lovely,
I love chocolate.
Marsha Steed, Roseville, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Interesting twist on the "chocolate and roses"
theme.
Wonderful ending. This poem has many elements worth noting:
Careful word choice, comparison/contrast, and an element of surprise.
Nicely done, poet. Witty observation, good description.
=============
Prismatic Aura
After eight hours of watching stocks
rise, fall, rise, and finally fall for the day
I loosen my tie while standing in line at Wal-Mart,
a box of chocolate and a troubled mind.
I arrive home, later than usual.
She has dinner in the oven, one place mat at the table.
I give her the candy. She doesn't speak.
Love glitters in the last rays of sunlight.
Tony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Tension builds in each line of this piece, but the
final line dissolves it all in happiness. Excellent story telling.
This writer sets the scene with many excellently described moments, then
ends exquisitely. The thoughtful detailing makes this piece memorable.
Mysterious ending.
=============
No Valentine
No chocolate kisses of love
Melting bittersweet tears
Love forsaken in the time of roses
My heart can not tell of joy
The sugar has congealed
Sealing my heart from pain
Rejection is not a taste I like
But was fed it just the same
Daisy Autry Worrock, Abingdon, VA, USA
COMMENTS: Conveys the heart-felt pain of unfulfilled love.
The non-conversational phrasing lends the tone of memory, rather than recent
experience. Strong, succinct.
FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $20.00 electronic book gift certificate.
gusts of chill cut deepCOMMENTS: Beautiful final line sums up the poem's yearning for the beauty in even the harshest conditions; of particular note is the second line, the image composed there with the clouds piling "north to south" - latently, the action is very kinetic and is implied beautifully. A very apt portrayal.
clouds pile north to south
drops turn to diamondsKatherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
cold earth coverletCOMMENTS: The duality in this piece is simple and stark, as befits haiku. The neatly sketched contrast between the frigidity of the season with the waiting daffodils awakens many emotions in the reader, most notably hope for the coming spring. Very nice usage of alliteration, as well as similar sounds in "await awakening."
dormant daffodils await
awakening rainSJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
ice drops beat down treesCOMMENTS: Wonderfully vibrant words and verbs illuminate what could have been a dark and foreboding haiku. Of particular note is the phrase "winter hammers," which is perfectly descriptive of the bitterness of this winter's wind. Well-chosen words craft a very real scenario, and the final line is simply just right.
wind hammers cold through wet air
birds shiver complaintsMary E. Gray, Newport News, VA, USA
low rolling gray clouds
scatter water through cold air
dimples on the pond
Gary Wade, Williston, VT, USA
COMMENTS: The words used to describe this gray winter scene are
well chosen to exemplify that mood. It is a simple thing, the act
of raining, but here, it takes on a newer meaning - one of duality, the
clouds so far above the pond, reaching down to scatter the water, only
momentarily disturbing the surface of the pond. Wonderfully introspective.
=============
HONORABLE MENTION
red cardinal
nestles in holly
January drizzle
Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
COMMENTS: This simply elegant Haiku is sparse in language but
rich in description. An entire scene is brightly painted in few words.
Wonderful use of color to set the scene, with the contrast between the
vivid red of the cardinal and the wonderful winter green of the holly,
with red berries to match the cardinal. It is excellent how such
a detailed mental image can arise from so few words, and a testament to
how well chosen those words are.
=============
OTHER POEMS COMMENTED UPON
=============
grey sky opens up
raindrops fall like winter days
small and cold and dark
Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
COMMENTS: Comments: Very nice imagery. The opening
line lends a feeling of spaciousness to the scene, which is neatly contrasted
by the usage of "small" in the final line.
=============
winter rain
drumming on tin roofs
competes with woodpeckers
Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Interesting comparison of the rain and woodpeckers,
and a very apt one at that. Nice internal near-rhyme with "winter"
and "tin" - the two words form a pleasant tongue-rolling phrase.
=============
winter drizzle
his old slippers still beneath
my nightstand
Kathy Lippard Cobb, Bradenton, FL, USA
COMMENTS: Very emotional, well conveyed in so few words.
Bursting with all kinds of translations and interpretations, with such
a strong core feeling that almost all else is moot. Very well done.
=============
bitter London dawn
horns blare as narrow streets flood
homeless man carols
SuzAnne C. Cole, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Nice usage of words to properly convey the time of
year - such as "bitter" and "carols." Good double meaning to "carols,"
as well. Here, the other side of winter rain is shown - not the rain
itself, but the inconveniences it causes. Well-portrayed without
being too specific.
=============
prints glaze with moisture
frozen visions of failure
reflect existence
Sharon Rothenfluch Cooper, Portland, OR, USA
COMMENTS: Interesting in that it could possibly be read two ways
- with "prints" being fingerprints, or being actual photographic prints.
Each interpretation has its own appeal, and both are well sketched here.
=============
gentle winter rain
loosens snow from window screens
warm breath sets flakes free
Betty Dobson, Halifax, NS, CAN
COMMENTS: Beautiful imagery, so delicate and ethereal.
Of especial note is the nice conceptualization of "setting flakes free"
in the final line. It is particularly nice how the poet approaches
such a seemingly mundane topic and brings it to light in a beautiful way.
=============
icy gales snatch
bobbing umbrellas
pedestrians scurry
Kay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
COMMENTS: Wonderfully Mary Poppins-esque in the concept of umbrellas
being snatched here and there; this haiku has a feeling of constrained
energy, and the word choices are excellent.
=============
winter rain prevails
perfect opportunities
sailing paper boats
Roz Garay, Riverside, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Very interesting choice of words to create a scenario
that could possibly be interpreted any number of ways. Particularly
nice is the imagery in the final line.
=============
cupped hands
catching warm breath
icy drops sting cheeks
Julie Hartman, Magnolia, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Nicely kinetic in the opening lines; nice
image of the hands "catching" the warmth of one's own breath, creating
a warm nook (if only in one place!). Very good contrast between that
warmth and the "icy drops" which assail.
=============
yesterday's snow reincarnates
under today's unexpected rain
ice reborn tomorrow
Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
COMMENTS: Very intriguing meteorological haiku, turning something
as treacherous and curse-provoking as the formation of ice into something
poetic and beautiful. A true accomplishment!
=============
pellets lashing cheeks
labored footsteps forge ahead
fighting winter's wrath
Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA, USA
COMMENTS: Classic Woman versus Nature, in haiku form! Neatly
said, and well sketched. Word choices are apt, and put the reader
in the midst of the storm.
=============
ice clouds spill over
roads laden with commuters
cars slide through stop signs
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
COMMENTS: Wonderful dual meaning of "spill over" at the end of
the first line. Nice action-filled word choices, as well as clear
imagery.
==============
winter rain
passion ebbs
ice bound heart
Ron Miranda, Garland, TX, USA
COMMENTS: An unusual twist on the topic, but a very well done
one. Nice usage of "ebbs" to continue the water theme of rain, and
"ice" to continue the winter theme. Altogether, a neatly said and
painfully felt poem.
=============
freezing rain
backyard
winter wonderland
Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
COMMENTS: Sparse commentary sometimes yields the most powerful
images, and this is no exception. It is so easy to imagine what is
being seen - the poem truly achieves its goal of creating a vivid mental
image. More "Miku" than "Haiku," this succinct poem is wonderfully
done.
=============
rain drops
deep night
morning tinsel
Kathy Paupore, Kingsford, MI, USA
COMMENTS: Wonderful dual meaning in the opening line with "rain
drops," and beautiful phrasings carry breathlessly from one line to the
next, arching like the fineness of a single strand of tinsel. Excellently
done.
=============
gray morning
splotches of wet dust
on cracked brown leaves
Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Nicely done Haiku. Color, or rather, the lack
of it, is abundant here. Excellent imagery in this haiku, and it
effectively conveys the cheerlessness of a wintry, rainy morning.
=============
weight of winter air
leafless trees and fog are one
pressing latticed panes
Brady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Simply fine writing, well described scene, with nature
totally in control. Beautifully poetic diction bring a little more
life to this haiku than it might normally have, given the subject chosen.
However, the phrasings create an ethereal winter bareness that is, in and
of itself, beautiful. Very nice emphasis on trees and fog becoming
one, as so often happens on foggy winter days.
=============
over icy air
heavy clouds ride low and far
water falls as sleet
Shannon Riggs, Honolulu, HI, USA
COMMENTS: Nice dual meaning of "water falls." Wonderful
imagery is present here. Particularly nice is the way the poet conveys
- in so few words - the action of scudding clouds scooting across the heavy
skies.
=============
white pellets fly
bare tree branches shiver
frozen icy ponds
Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
COMMENTS: A sparse scene, sparsely described, but vividly imagined
and richly felt.
==============
Frigid droplets fall
Washing along in sheer sheets
Black ice hides on walks
Barbara G. Scroggins, Williston, VT, USA
COMMENTS: Excellent descriptive writing. "Sheer sheets"
is wonderful to say aloud, as is the double "f" sound in the opening line.
Neatly described icy scene.
=============
Grey skies and cold rain
Inside fire is flickering
Time to toast marshmallows
George Matthew Stateson, Grand Prairie, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Wonderful contrast between the icy rain outside and
the warm, toasty fire (and marshmallows!) inside. This haiku effortlessly
moves between the two extremes, and manages to unite them in a common,
yet special, winter scene.
=============
meeting dirty glass
icy tears slide down pooling
mourning morning warmth
Marsha Steed, Roseville, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Wonderful final line, with that glorious double sounding
"mourning morning"! Beautiful portrayal of Winter's emotions when
met with warmth, sending her icy tears down to pool (melt). Excellent
depiction of the clash between Winter and coming Spring.
=============
blackbirds
huddled on branches
storm warning
James M. Thompson, Baytown, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Interesting haiku depiction of the old wives' tale
of huddling blackbirds presaging a coming storm. Particularly nice
is the mental contrast between the blackness of the bird huddle and the
whiteness of the landscape and storm-to-come.
=============
Northern wind
Brown Bermuda blades
Beg moisture
Tony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Wonderful alliteration! Nice contrast between
the Northern wind and the "southern" (aka, Bermuda) grass, as well as the
white/brown contrast of snow and dead earth. Very nicely done.
=============
Cold freezing droplets
Fall from heaven's winter sky
Chilling my body
Daisy Autry Worrock, Abingdon, VA, USA
COMMENTS: Simple, sparse imagery, but a very powerful scene,
and one that could possibly be seen two different ways. Thought provoking,
and well-written.
Tribute |
| Requiem For Seven More
In the deep daring of human Endeavor
Now our tears
Craig Tigerman, Moline, IL, USA
The shuttle was gone in seconds,
It was okay for the first few days.
The disaster had struck, it was too late,
Justin Tigerman, Moline, IL, USA
It is moving
that those who did see her
that those who did see her lit lamps
Betty Ann Whitney, Wesley Chapel, FL, USA
Off-scale white
To remind you how fragile
Paul Boor, Galveston, TX, USA
Soft wood, east Texas pine, it sheds a twig or two
Small wonder when we wakened from the keep of
No branch, instead a vapor trail across an azure sky
SJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
tonight someone comes
and all the angels
Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
In constant stretching for the stars,
Janet I. Buck, Medford, OR, USA
hope's seven bright lights
David C. Bursey, Job's Cove, Newfoundland, CAN
(Salt on her lips,
this vantage is only best
(He goes to his lover;
it is pointless to watch the waves;
(How can she swallow such landed things) the Seaman's Hall rings its bells;
(How can there be a dawn,
David E. Cowen, Houston, TX, USA
Bernard Lumori Duku, Calgary, AL, CAN
The pain of seven families
Do not cry for me, I'm sure
The science will go on
Take heart for broken dreams,
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
"Roger ................................................................," the last we heard - but it wasn't the final word, was it? I
split second when all the training gave way to terror, or
into History's warp and weft. And what is left of dreams
They will not be washed away. John E. Rice, Houston, TX, USA
Flags at half-staff mourn our heroes.
Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
February 1, 2003… Just sixteen minutes prior to
as the shuttle Columbia, while streaking across
One stream of smoke stretching out behind
of white trailed behind the cabin where
Heroes flew from Earth to space;
Randy Snow, St. Louis Park, MN, USA
Inches, moments, choices, circumstances.
Yes. But more than that.
No. Delayed but a moment, gone from our view
Of Course. Marsha Steed, Roseville, CA, USA
When a burst of fire took a space shuttle and seven lives--
Were there such accusations hurled
There is more to life than stretching out our years.
Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
Dark space
Tony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
"I hope you could feel the positive energy that beamed to the whole planet as we glided over our shared planet. Love to all, Laurel." (final e-mail from Columbia Astronaut Laurel Clark) They radiate the good news
Claiborne S. Walsh, Montrose, AL, USA
A white streak
Gillian Wilkinson, Saxonwold, RSA
|
FREEZING WIND
JUDGE: CRAIG TIGERMAN
SPONSOR: SOL DONOR
LIMERICK OR EXTENDED LIMERICK
FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $20.00 electronic book gift certificate.
February BlushCOMMENTS: This extended limerick shows how the biting chill affects a writer's brain! Cute personification.They say that the air has no hue
But I can prove that isn't true
You can think what you think
But the north wind is pink
It rubs off on your cheeks
And the stain lasts for weeks.
Go outside - you'll get some on you!Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
The wind howls, biting my ears.
My eyes sting so bad I feel tears.
To block its attack,
I just turn my back,
Shift into reverse all my gears.
Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA, USA
COMMENTS: Captures a major truth about freezing wind: it turns us around!
The ending metaphor is unexpected, and adds an element of surprise.
============
HONORABLE MENTION
Cold
My nose is cold, my feet are froze
my fingers feel like my numb toes
fog is getting thick
think I'm growing sick
coat's warm, slippers too.
Hope I don't get flu
biting breeze seems intent that I freeze!
Marsha Steed, Roseville, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Personification of the freezing wind gives depth to this
limerick. Something to see and feel adds depth to this cute limerick.
============
OTHER POEMS COMMENTED UPON
============
Snuggle On Your Side of the Bed!
The wind howls -- the cabin is cold
My husband has made it his goal
To seek out and find me
Then sneak in behind me
And touch me with bony cold toes
SJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
COMMENTS: It's easy to picture this humorous scene. The visual
and auditory elements really add to this funny vignette.
============
Icicles on Eaves
This winter brought much snow and hail
And more than once a living gale.
Icicles on eaves,
With too few reprieves;
My feet are freezing,
The cat is sneezing--
What a time for the heat to fail.
Betty Dobson, Halifax, NS, CAN
COMMENTS: It has indeed been a brutal winter for many who are used
to much better. Nice mid-poem phrasing in "Icicles on eaves/With
too few reprieves."
============
Winter Burgers
There once was a bloke from Wisconsin
Who claimed to be tough as they come.
Being emboldened,
He grilled burgers in the chill wind.
And now they're thawing his buns.
Tim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
COMMENTS: Funny pun at the end completes a hilarious word-picture.
============
Blue Friends
The mountains surrounding my house
protect me and my shivering spouse
from the winds that blow by
from the icy-breath of the sky;
I see my friends turning blue
as they're in love with their view,
I say "enjoy it," but I feel like a louse.
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
COMMENTS: What one finds harsh may appeal to a visitor as fresh and
invigorating. The interesting pairing of "spouse/louse" rhyme is
a real breath of fresh air.
============
No Parking Here
The wind pushes me on as it blows
I hang tight by my toes
as my hat flies away
I manage to sway
but when I try to stop, I still go.
Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
COMMENTS: Sometimes there's no chance of winning against a stiff wind.
The very strong visual elements here add to the humor, and literally put
the reader into the action. Well done.
============
Montreal Express
From the north comes the Montreal Express
that makes cold lovers bundle to excess.
Canada's blasting breeze
makes us cough and wheeze.
Into the house we jockey
to watch a game of hockey
and escape the paralyzing brisk mess.
Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
COMMENTS: Thankful to have a house in which to escape the bitter onslaught!
The quick pace of this almost leaves the reader breathless, but still game
to re-read the poem.
============
Florida It Isn't
You think Houston winters are mild?
It's true, snow is never high-piled,
But air still turns cold,
The wind still blows bold,
And runny nose still drives us wild!
Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: The near-rhyme of "piled" and "wild" is nice.
Interesting repetitions in the last two lines.
SWEET DARK CHOCOLATE AND BITTER THOUGHTS OF YOU
JUDGE: MARY MARGARET CARLISLE
SPONSOR: SOL MAGAZINE
COMMENTS FROM THE MANAGING EDITOR: I am as unable to resist excellent
poetry, as I am unable to resist dark chocolate. These choice selections
from among the wonderful treats our poets entered are simply delectable!
=============
TIE - FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $10.00 electronic book gift
certificate.
Feast Your HeartCOMMENTS: Well-paced, with both a deliberateness of purpose and a breathlessness of passion.I devour the sweet chocolate of a man,
Knowing you would not approve.
We are fresh, running wild like cupids,
We lay starry-eyed under Valentine's moon.
I have ignited a blaze from the spark that waned
Until romance came calling again.
You ran away on the rocks into a veil of fog,
And an arrow, out of nowhere, pierced my flesh
As your lovelight faded away.
A pile of logs for my new man's fire,
Where chocolate brews, laced with love's liqueur;
He wipes a smudge from my lip and I sizzle
My memories of you in the melting pot.
Our marshmallow smiles bridge the years,
We make up for the nights we missed
By unwrapping our passions in foil,
We play hide-and-seek with our kisses.
Did I mention his red satin-sheets?
He turned me from a woman who would settle
Into a vixen eating chocolates with ruby-lacquered nails
On a Heavenly Bed of rose-petals.
Do you remember me, old Valentine,
From an age that has passed away?
The angels have made me a love-rich lady
And the dark chocolate he and I have created
Is the sweet harmony I have always craved;
I did not know it could exist without you;
I was naive, but now I am blessed
With my very own chocolate-covered god!Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
AddictionCOMMENTS: Highly descriptive diction coats this piece sweetly. Luscious writing in a delicious poem.lucid dreams of chocolate-sweet treasures
discovery of power
precise fingers lift the lid to reveal a rich passion -precious bullion glows deep in the box
sensational heat melts brittle bonds
smooth flow coats the bodystilled blood warms in the chest
parched thirst quenched in the throat
flushed skin stretches tautsugar-laden bounty expels rumors of darkness
rewards determination
solicits heightened euphoric awakeningtemptation to share
bitter-sweet conflict
not with whomonly that satisfaction
is most savored by meBrady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
On The Way To Bill's Budget Foods
I'm traveling at 65 M.P.H. on the interstate
a can of Sprite and a Hershey bar,
listening to Oldies 101.7 play Earth Angel.
You are probably punching numbers in
the computer at 2nd Specialty Bank,
your lunch hour 20 minutes away.
I exit off, glance at my watch, think just
enough time left. An open parking
space across from the main entrance.
I park and wait. At 12:03 p.m. my time
you walk out the side door wearing the blue
outfit I bought you two months before
you decided we were finished. I finish
the Sprite, washing down the last bite
of bitter chocolate, wad the wrapper up,
toss it in the street, watch it disappear
under a truck passing, look up
and you're gone too.
Tony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Talk about bitter-sweet! Great juxtaposition
between the consumables (Sprite and chocolate) and the drama of the now-consumed
relationship.
=============
THIRD PLACE: Winner of a bag of chocolate kisses.
Crushed Red Foil
I will remember this: sweet dark chocolate,
these moments, when all things change,
crushed red foil, these bitter thoughts of you
on the tip of my tongue, and darkness.
These moments, when all things change,
when each morning you and I begin
on the tip of my tongue. And darkness
comes again. We have no way of knowing,
when each morning you and I begin,
what each day may bring. Each hour
comes again. We have no way of knowing
what surprises, what new chance and yet...
what each day may bring... each hour,
crushed red foil, these bitter thoughts of you.
What surprises, what new chance? And yet,
I will remember this - sweet dark chocolate.
Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
COMMENTS: Masterfully-crafted modern pantoum contrasts bitter
and sweet in love and chocolate.
============
HONORABLE MENTION
Sweet Revenge
A butter cream for every lie.
A caramel each time I cry.
A toffee crunch--You little cheat!
A special dark, bitterly sweet.
Cashew patties, nougatty squares,
Cherry cordials consumed in pairs.
Heartache avenged thanks to Hershey kiss.
Farewell, my love, hello chocolate bliss.
Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA, USA
COMMENTS: Such wanton carefree indulgence! Quite humorous
to imagine this taking place. The simple rhythm and aa-bb rhyme scheme
enhance the amusement. Bravo!
============
HONORABLE MENTION
Unopened
Memories
of you, moments
in a box,
dark chocolates,
bittersweet
love promises
unopened, chocolate dust.
Kathy Paupore, Kingsford, MI, USA
COMMENTS: The candy box becomes a symbol of unfulfilled pledges
of commitment in this well-conceived poem. The form followed in this
poem is a Whitney, created by Betty Ann Whitney, Sol Magazine's Poetry
Manager.
Addiction
lucid dreams of chocolate-sweet treasures
discovery of power
precise fingers lift the lid to reveal a rich passion -
precious bullion glows deep in the box
sensational heat melts brittle bonds
smooth flow coats the body
stilled blood warms in the chest
parched thirst quenched in the throat
flushed skin stretches taut
sugar-laden bounty expels rumors of darkness
rewards determination
solicits heightened euphoric awakening
temptation to share
bitter-sweet conflict
not with whom
only that satisfaction
is most savored by me
Brady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Highly descriptive diction coats this piece sweetly.
Luscious writing in a delicious poem.
There is no immediate prize associated with a poem having been picked as Editor's Choice in a particular month, only the knowledge that our editors picked it over all the other prize winners of that month. However, all poems chosen for EDITOR'S CHOICE of each month in the year 2003 will be automatically entered in the EDITOR'S CHOICE OF THE YEAR 2003 competition, voted on by Sol Magazine Members at the end of the year.
Questions? E-mail Mary Margaret Carlisle, Managing Editor: Sol.Editor@prodigy.net
Please
refer to this page for Sol Magazine questions & email contacts:
http://pages.prodigy.net/sol.magazine/question.htm
CRAIG TIGERMAN, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
BETTY ANN WHITNEY, POETRY EDITOR
PAULA MARIE BENTLEY, FEATURES EDITOR
BONNIE WILLIAMS, ASSISTANT EDITOR
LEO F. WALTZ, WEB MASTER, PRIZE MANAGER, MEDIA
EDITOR
MARY MARGARET CARLISLE, MANAGING EDITOR
OTHER VOLUNTEERS:
MARY BURLINGAME, LOIS LAY CASTIGLIONI, JANET PARKER,
JOHN RICE
Sol Magazine, P.O. Box 580037, Houston, TX 77258-0037
Phone number: 281-316-2255
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