Battle #16: PROF. MAPLE! October 1, 2000
Setting: Professor Maple's Lab
Player: PROF. MAPLE [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: N/A

A little of this and a little of that...
PROF. OAK mixes the RED STUFF and the BLUE STUFF together!
...a narrator? You don't know what this is?
PROF. MAPLE holds up the BLUE STUFF!
You musta done really well in chemistry...
NARRATOR failed CHEMISTRY
...and they let you narrate?
WEBMASTER failed CHEMISTRY too!
WEBMASTER is ANGRY!
WEBMASTER used WARNING!
NARRATOR was given THIRD DEGREE BURNS!
...THAT's a WARNING?!
WEBMASTER could have used FIRE...
NARRATOR APOLOGIZES profusely!
...that's better
oook....
Can we just get on with it? I don't feel like getting into a narrator/webmaster scruff
NARRATOR used GET ON WITH IT!
NARRATOR GOT ON WITH IT!
AUDIENCE's aproval GREATLY ROSE!
Well, I guess you came to see this...one last chemical to mix in.
PROF. MAPLE used THE CLEAR STUFF!
It's called dihydrogen monoxide.
...you mean water?
And you failed chemistry?
...NARRATOR thought he used GET ON WITH IT...
Fine, fine, stand back.
MAPLE used IGNITE.
FIRE was IGNITED!
CHEMICALS EXPLODED!
MAPLE'S MONSTER APPEARED!
There ya go, my creation.
NARRATOR is SCARED!
NARRATOR huddles in the CORNER!
Don't worry he's completely...
M.M. used EXPLOSION!
PROF. MAPLE'S LAB fell to pieces!
NARRATOR screamed like a LITTLE GIRL!
Don't worry, I got this one.
M.M. wants to fight!
...the cration wants to battle the creator, alright.
M.M. sent out M.M.
PROF. MAPLE sent out PROF. MAPLE!
M.M. used EXPLOSION!
several TREES fainted!
PROF. MAPLE is UNEFFECTED
I hate to do this, I spent alot of time on him...
PROF. MAPLE used BUTTON!
M.M. fainted!
NARRATOR comes out of hiding!
...you call turning into a pile of goo fainting?...you're strange.
PROF. MAPLE wins!
Was there ever a doubt?
VILLAGE PEOPLE are angry!
...why?
THE EXPLOSION took out several HOUSES along with the TREES.
Oh, well, um...
VILLAGE PEOPLE want to fight!
Oh, alright....
VILLAGE PEOPLE send out INDIAN, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, POLICE MAN, and BIKER.
...oh...those village people...I didn't know the band lived next to me.
NARRATOR thinks this battle has gone on WAY too long. NARRATOR uses end.

Prof. Maple has been introduced to the pokebattles universe. What will happen in his battle with the village people? Tune in next time, for more pokebattles!

Battle #17: PROF. MAPLE V 2.0! October 1, 2000
Setting: Professor Maple's Lab's remnants
Player: PROF. MAPLE [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: PROF. MAPLE!

...narrator's back, finally, ok boys, let's battle.
VILLAGE PEOPLE wake up!
VILLAGE PEOPLE want to battle!
PROF. MAPLE sent out PROF. MAPLE!
VILLAGE PEOPLE sent out INDIAN, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, POLICE MAN, and BIKER!
Alrighty then, take this!
PROF. MAPLE used EXPLOSION!
VILLAGE PEOPLE EXPLODED back into popularity!
VILLAGE PEOPLE used SING!
VILLAGE PEOPLE popularity quickly deminished!
That was quick..let's see you handle this.
PROF. MAPLE used CHEMICALS!
INDIAN used QUICK ATTACK!
INDIAN kicked the chemicals back at PROF. MAPLE!
PROF. MAPLE was renamed PROF. FROG!
VILLAGE PEOPLE are laughing like crazy.
PROF. MAPLE used ANIME FACE-FAULT
PROF. MAPLE used ANTIDOTE!
STATUS RECOVERED!
PROF. FROG was renamed PROF. MAPLE.
Now I'm mad, I'm pulling out all the stops.
PROF. MAPLE used BUTTON!
TIME-SPACE PORTAL was OPENED
TIME MACHINE appeared!
TIME MACHINE is moving VERY SLOWLY!
BOB "THAT TREE GUY" SMITH and BUTCH URRH appeared!
BUTCH said URRH for no reason!
BOB: Quick, let's get out!
WEBMASTER LOCKED THE DOORS!
BOB is trying desperately to escape!
BOB is sending out tree!
WEBMASTER used GIANT HAMMER!
GIANT HAMMER knocked TIME MACHINE back in portal!
...what was that for? Why couldn't they stay?
THE ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER would have been ANGRY for INTERFEARING with RED VERSION PROGRESS!
...oh...
*ahem*...
...right. CONSTRUCTION WORKER used HAMMER!
POLICEMAN used BATON!
BIKER used ROADKILL!
PROF. MAPLE is in ALOT OF PAIN!
You enjoy stating the obvious, huh?
It's the NARRATOR's job.
This time, I have in under control.
PROF. MAPLE used DRAW!
MADAM OTURI was drawn from portal!
MADAM OTURI used MEGA-BLAST!
VILLAGE PEOPLE fainted!
Well, that was easy enough, now, back into the portal Oturi.
OTURI doesn't quite think so.
OTURI used PSY-BEAM!
PROF. MAPLE fainted!
OTURI used fly!
OTURI flew away!
OTURI wins!

Prof. Maple made a grave mistake as he released Madam Oturi on Liquid Version. How is this mysterious woman? Where does she get her powers from? Tune in next time for more Pokebattles!

View/Post messages on battles 16-17.

Battle #18: ENTER TEAM ROCKET! October 8, 2000
Setting: Professor Maple's Lab's remnants
Player: TEAM ROCKET [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: N/A

For the perpouses of this, and future battles featuring team rocket, James will be in blue, Jessie will be in pink. I could go into a deap discusion over the problems of establishing gender roles, but it's just pokebattles, get over it.
Jessie, would you remind me why we're here?
James, do I have to keep reminding you, we're here to capture Professor Maple, maybe afterwards we'll get a promotion!
...when was the last time we were promoted?
...it was about that time we were sent to capture that pikachu...
TEAM ROCKET fault-faces!
TEAM ROCKET's ego greatly desctreased!
HAH! Team Rocket's ego is stronger than cast iron!
It'd have to be to put up with the number of failures you've put up with.
Very funny, mr. disembodied voice, but this time we'll suceed.
...NARRATOR needs to get a name soon so that people won't make up names for him...
Wait, Jessie, I think I see the lab...what happened there?
You'd think a doompuff had been here...
...doompuff?...I'm out of here!
JESSIE grabs JAMES by the coller!
JAMES was DRAGGED to where the LAB was!
PROF. MAPLE wakes up!
PROF. MAPLE is MUMBLING like a madman!
PROF. MAPLE: O...Oturi! Get me away from here! Fast, please take me with you!
...this was easier than we thought. Sure, we'll take you with us!
JESSIE used POKEBALL!
JESSIE caught PROF. MAPLE!
...Jessie....let's get out of here, I don't like it here!
James, please, grow a backbone. I've seen braver chickens.
You're right, I'm a coward, let's just go!
MADAM OTURI appeared!
AAAAAAH, WHAT'S THAT?!
OTURI: I have been released! I will bring my vengence to the world of pokemon!
OTURI used POSSESS!
OTURI POSSESS JAMES!
...James? You ok?
...I am not James...I am the imortal one...you will help me.
And why should I help you? You took over the body of the world's most incompitent person, you obviously have bad taste.
He was an easy capture, I have not yet regained my energy. Would you prefer I take your body?
That's alright...but I work for team rocket! Prepare for trouble!
...oh, right...help me out here Maple!
JESSIE sent out PROF. MAPLE
MARPLE: Do I really have to do this?
I could hand you over to OTURI!
PROF MAPLE: *sigh*...Make it double!
Motto continues...
PROF. MAPLE: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
OTURI wants to fight!
OTURI sent out OTURI!
...Maple is already out.
Maple, you win this and I'll make sure you never see her again.
MAPLE uses DE-POSSESS!
MAPLE no longer possesses A CAR!
PROF. MAPLE swears PROFUSELY!
OTURI: I let you live once, you will live no more!
OTURI uses PSY-FWAP!
MAPLE was FULLY FWAPPED!
MAPLE is in ALOT OF PAIN!
OTURI uses POSSESS!
OTURI POSSESSES MAPLE!
OTURI: I don't need you anyway, I work by myself
OTURI used TELEPORT!
OTURI ran away!
...Jessie, what was that?
I don't know, but we failed another mission, Giovanni won't be too happy.
TEAM ROCKET SWEAT-DROPS!
At least we're not blasting off again...
NARRATOR will be NICE...no blasting off for team rocket.
TEAM ROCKET heads back to base, having failed yet again.

Team rocket has entered Liquid Version, and have survived an attack from Madam Oturi. Who is this mysterious lady? What interest does Team Rocket have with Liquid Version? Tune in next time for more Pokebattles!

View/Post messages on battles 18.

Meanwhile...

Player: PORTAL MAN [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: N/A

I've been locked in there with Oturi for so long...
Now I can exit!
PORTAL MAN went through TIME-SPACE portal!
...3,000 years...I have alot of catching up to do.
PORTAL MAN flies away!

It's about this time I wrote the history of pokebattles, which explains what's going on. To see it, check out The History of Pokemon!

Battle #19: PORTAL MAN! October 15, 2000
Setting: Field
Player: PORTAL MAN [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: N/A

Ah, to smell the air, it's nice to be out.
OTURI appeared!
Oturi, I want nothing to do with you.
OTURI: You know it's our destiny to control the pokebattles universe.
I've learned something over the years we were together, you're just evil, and I'm tired of fighting you.
OTURI: One more battle then...FOR CONROL OF THE UNIVERSE!
Oturi, I don't want the universe...
OTURI: I will destory you then, and I will destory the webmaster of this version and take this place as the center for my fight to take back what is rightfully mine!
WEBMASTER is angry!
WEBMASTER wants to fight!
WEBMASTER allied with you!
...Right, together we can beat her!
OTURI used PSY-THWAP!
BAH! I'm not taking ANOTHER person taking over my version!!!!!
WEBMASTER used DODGE!
LARGE DODGE fell on OTURI!
It's not very effective!
You're not going to take her out with that...what's wrong with you using a crappy attack like that?
....sounded good at the time...
OTURI: You're a sorry webmaster, and now, you're mine!
OTURI used WEIRD ENERGY!
WEBMASTER is WEIRD!
My narrator knows me better than I know me...
Oturi, you know, you can't win. We've been fighting for years, and where has that gotten us? Don't you know that by now?
OTURI: You may give in like that, but not me!
Fine, taste this!
PORTAL MAN used THUNDER PUNCH!
OTURI is in ALOT of PAIN!
What good is the thunder part?
...it just sounds cool man.
...um, it's just extranious.
OTURI used ENERGY BLAST!
It's super effective!
Mommy, I don't wanna go to school...ooh, look at the pretty birdies...
Oy. He was no help...picking on inocents like that, Oturi you should be ashamded.
PORTAL MAN used RED LIGHT!
It's not very effective.
OTURI: You've made your last mistake.
OTURI used LOW KICK!
...that looked really painfull...
I can't win this battle...well, Oturi, I'm going to find a way to beat you. I'm off!
PORTAL MAN opened a PORTAL!
PORTAL MAN went to PLAID VERSION!
OTURI wins!
OTURI: You may have escaped me now, but, you will not evade me for long.

Oturi's looking to take back pokebattles from the webmasters, and Portal Man is searching for a way to stop her. Will he stop her? Am I safe? Should I go into witness protection? Tune in next time for more Pokebattles!

View/Post messages on battles 19.

Battle #20: ANOTHER CROSSOVER! October 1, 2000
Setting: Soho
Player: HIPPY [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: N/A

Alright, hempasaur, smoke attack!
HEMPASAUR used SMOKE ATTACK!
HIPPY is FULLY BAKED!
Oh man, I must be fried, I'm hearing voices...
NARRATOR is NARRATING battle!
...battle? I'm a pacifist, man!
Battle or die, it's your choice.
Fine, fine, battle who man?
PORTAL opened!
LIQUID ZOMBIE appeared!
Dude, you are such a buzz kill!
LIQUID ZOMBIE wants to fight!
LIQUID ZOMBIE sent out LIQUID ZOMBIE!
I hate to do this to you, man, but I gotta.
HIPPY sent out HEMPASAUR!
Hm, maybe we can get him on our side huh?
Use your smoke attack!
HEMPASAUR used SMOKE ATTACK!
LIQUID ZOMBIE is FULLY BAKED!
LIQUID ZOMBIE was renamed STONER!
STONER doesn't want to fight anymore.
Cool, man! Peace, love, harmony!
PORTAL opened!
YELLOW ZOMBIE appeared!
Man, just let me sit back and listen to some Pink Floyd.
NARRATOR will make you battle ONE WAY or ANOTHER!
...one more time for me, you can do it man!
YELLOW ZOMBIE wants to fight!
...how'd he get here anyway?
IT followed the WEBMASTER after he posted on the MESSAGE BOARD!
Is "it" a male or a female zombie?
...narrator cannot distinguish between male and female.
...nice.
YELLOW ZOMBIE used BITE!
LARGE CHUNK OF FLESH was bitten off HEMPASAUR!
Man, bummer, hempasaur, use your flower power!
HEMPASAUR used FLOWER POWER!
ZOMBIE is in CRITICAL CONDITION!
ZOMBIE used YELLOW BEAM!
YELLOW BEAM missed!
It kept on going, and hit...
HIPPY's TELEVISION!
OOOOOOOOH MAN, now I can't get the cartoon channel...you're going down, and quick, I have a killer case of the munchies!
HEMPASAUR used BONG WATER!
YELLOW ZOMBIE is MELTING!
YELLOW ZOMBIE: I'm melting, melting, melting!!! What a world, what a world, what a world!
YELLOW ZOMBIE fainted!
HIPPY wins!
Yeah, now back to...
STONER smoked HIPPY's STASH!
I payed alot for that stuff too man! Dude, we're gonna have to talk.

The zombies came, and...were quickly taken out, much to my dismay... Will hippy get to watch his cartoons? Will he find a way to replenish his stash? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Tune in next time for more Pokebattles!

View/Post messages on battles 19.

Click here for the next set of battles!