That doesn't always stop me from trying, though. Especially when one of my less confident friends asks me "Am I ugly?" I tend to get asked that a lot too, probably since I hang around people like myself.
(Point in case of my ineffectiveness: most would just answer "No" to that question, whereas I would respond, "No, ha!, of course you're not ugly, gee golly whiz, I wish I looked like you!")
Which begs me to question the tactic of using white lies. Most people, except avid Clinton supporters (I had to throw that in), would agree that lying is unacceptable. Interpolating from that, white lies must also be unacceptable.
However, what if the alternative (telling the truth) is worse? Each situation must be evaluated on it's own, but using the previous example ("Am I ugly?"), would it be better to be honest and possibly make someone's death list, or would it be better to preserve and encourage the friend's fragile self-esteem?
It's a question of the lesser of two evils. Normally, I try to choose neither of the two evils. Instead of lying, I don't tell the whole truth. Won't cite any specific examples, but I've been doing a bit of that lately. (*sigh*) But to "Am I ugly?" I might now dodge the question with something like, "Well, you know, nervous eye twitch, I'll plead the fifth with that one since anyone who judges your goodness solely by your appearance isn't worthy of being your friend." Which I do believe is true, even though it's extremely evasive and corny.
I can't help going into one of my Catholic Grade School Nostalgic Trips™ because this reminds me of a time in second or third grade when I was at a friend's house. She was examining herself in a mirror and asked me, "Do you think I'm fat?" I had heard horror stories of people who tried answering that question, so I got really flustered. "Um, I guess you could stand to use a little weight?" Her face became so crestfallen and that memory is still extremely vivid because I've never forgiven myself for that.
So ever since then, I've decided to never say "yes" to any body-image questions (because that seems to be the only thing people, girls, get touchy about. They don't care if I honestly tell them that I think their cat is stupid and their neighborhood is likely to be the location for the next gang convention, as long as I'm positive about their appearance). It doesn't even matter what the body-image question is. The answer is always either, "No, of course not, I wish I looked like you," or, "Friends don't judge."
If I tell white lies though, then does that mean people do the same to me? Is this a common thing? I've straight-out asked some of my friends, "Have you ever told me a lie or a white lie?" and most of them answer "No" but how do I know they're not lying? Maybe they're deceitful like me. Maybe they know I'm touchy and that any negative comments would probably shatter me.
I have trouble trusting compliments, because I always doubt their sincerity now. (That's why I always try to brush compliments aside. If I acknowledge that there's any truth to the compliment, and it actually is a white lie, then I would feel stupid and arrogant.) That's probably the biggest problem with white lies. They reduce the credibility of sincere compliments.
Well, another obvious example of a big problem of white lies is that they're not always innocent. Sometimes a "white lie" can hurt someone, and one should be obligated to tell the truth, even if the person might become upset. Say, for example, "What do you think of my boyfriend?" And you know the boyfriend is a gigolo horn dog with drug problems. If you answered "He's fine" then that would be a damaging white lie since you're setting the friend up to be hurt.
If white lies must be used (and my inherent problem is whether they should be used at all), then obviously one should only use a white lie if there would be no bad ramifications.
I used very teenage specific examples of white lies, and I'm sure white lying goes beyond the scope of what my puny teenage brain would dare to try to understand, but like I implied twice already in this sentence, I am a teenager. I can't write about what I can't relate to.