There's a certain Gap commercial involving a girl gyrating (how I love that word) with two "robots" to the song "Digital Love." Following the tradition of most Gap commercials, this one tends to not make much sense. The first time I saw it, I guessed that it was going to be either a shoes or a jeans commercial (since both products have companies who incorporate unconventional advertisements). Damn, I'm good. I really shouldn't be too proud; after all, it would be obvious to the most dim-witted individual that a girl wearing a cotton shirt undulating (another great word) to "Digital Love" with the camera focused mostly on either her upper half, or on the LCD screens on the robots spelling out "GIRL" and a heart, would be the primary elements of a Gap commercial for denim. (I stress the contrast between the denim advertisement and the cotton shirt. Sure, she was wearing jeans, but everyone in every single commercial wears jeans, and they're not all advertising for Gap.)
Call me crazy, but I love this commercial. Maybe it's the fact that it doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's the fact that Juliette Lewis looks really average, thus making me feel less inferior to television and Hollywood personalities. Maybe it's that nifty song (which sucks in it's complete five minute version, but is pretty good when compressed into thirty seconds). Maybe it's the cheap Gap graphics at the end of the commercial that bear a striking resemblance to Jeopardy clues.
Must.. buy... overpriced... Gap merchandise....
I usually don't like Gap clothes, but that's probably on account of inability to recognize truly great merchandise. I should never become rich, because I'd probably blow my money on stocks and investments, instead of on something truly classy, like Gap clothing.
But that aside, I must give Gap credit because I usually get a kick out of their commercials. They never have anything to do with what they're advertising, which always makes them much more fun to watch. For example, furniture commercials. Those are boring, because they actually say "Buy our furniture." Gap would never stoop that low. They would rather make their commercials so inane that we think "Wow, Gap's commercials are so farcical that they must not even need our business! That's the trademark of a first-rate company."
I am surprised thus that Old Navy commercials suck so much, since Old Navy is the cheap version of Gap. They all have that scary-looking blonde woman who, at the end of every commercial, says "You GOTTA get this look! Only at..." then she pauses to position her bony face really close to the screen "...Old Navy!"
Nike commercials are usually pretty good, too. (I felt that was somewhat relevant, although I have nothing more to say on Nike). Also, I'm glad those Levi's commercials appear to be discontinued where they have people karaoking off-key to Karma Chameleon. In the timeless words of Bart Simpson, "I didn't think it was possible, but [it] both sucks and blows." Unfortunately, those commercials have been replaced by that one with the singing navels, which is probably worse than their last idea. I sigh.
However, I believe I would go undisputed if I claimed that the "Super Smash Brothers" commercial from a few years ago was undoubtedly the best commercial ever. Not only is "Happy Together" a kick-ass song, but the commercial involved several people in costumes of sexy Nintendo characters, including Mario, Yoshi, and Pikachu, beating each other up. Rawr. (I'm sorry, but Donkey Kong just isn't as sexy as the other three.) Not only do I have that game, but I also have that commercial on my computer! In .avi format! No RealVideo for me! Ha HA! I rejoice!
For those of you really itching for something involving Fermat's Last Theorem, here you go: x2 + y2 = z2. Isn't that... something?