To enjoy the presence of another is a prime consideration and a start to what may be much more. It takes a great deal of time to know and understand another. 

Lets slow down a bit so we are able to see, experience,
and especially enjoy what is around us and each other!

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

An online friend once wrote "What I Want" some time around 1994. To me it is quite a significant statement

WHAT I WANT...

Please don't tiptoe around my feelings - I've already chased my own demons and conquered them or I wouldn't be here with you.

Patience - don't push for a commitment I'm either unwilling to give or can't give to you at this point in time. If I don't feel I've lived my own life - I can't be expected to share it with another until I'm ready.

I am not here to make you happy - if you're depending on me for your happiness, this relationship is doomed to fail. It's not my responsibility to make you feel anything - your feelings and emotions are solely your own. I will, however, be glad if you "feel" happy in my company. As I feel in yours.

Be honest with me - my life has already been so full of negatives that I appreciate the positives - and honesty is one of them.

Allow me to be your friend - don't shut me out when trouble comes your way. I have a mind and ideas that may be useful - let me try to help.

Be MY friend - listen to what I say - give me some feedback to show you're listening to me - hug me when I'm down - kiss me when I hurt - hold me when I cry; be there holding my hand if I'm silent. It's sometimes just enough to know you care - and I'll do the same for you.

We're here together through a mutual attraction - we have common interests and goals - and have probably been through great emotional upheaval in our lives. Don't compare me to the past; it will only hurt you in the long run when you turn around and I'm gone. I have no time for living in the past - I only want to live each day and move forward. That doesn't mean we can't discuss it - it simply means we won't *live* in it. I can't allow that for myself; and I hope you won't allow it for yourself and the sake of our relationship; wherever it may lead.

Don't be afraid of us and what we may be feeling- recognize the fact that we like each other's company. Don't start analyzing, or the relationship will end before it begins. You deserve some happiness: don't sell yourself or me short by denying yourself. We may or may not end up in a total commitment - but it's a start to somewhere. And a pleasant way to spend time waiting.

All in all, it should be a great relationship if we can lean on each other when we need to - share the fun times and sad times, and keep the lines of communication flowing honestly. I know I haven't thought of everything, but if we have just these few attributes - the rest will come easily and we can conquer any negatives that life may toss our way.

Finally, my friend, if it ends - don't look back with regret. I won't - I feel my life has already been enriched by your presence in it and will continue to be *because* of it. Concentrate on the good times we had - and think of me as your friend still. I'll be around because I care about you - and I'll be happy for you when you find that special someone you've been searching for as I hope you will for me.

Sandee Eveland 1996

Now back to some additional thoughts of mine.

Beliefs 
Concepts of gentle kindness, understanding, benefits of caring for and about each other and immersion in each other’s feelings are all important to me. You may note my persistent use of the word share - a soft yet powerful meaning of nearly equal providing and receiving of life from each other. If a great degree of unbalance exists, a good relationship is not possible; sharing is a key to balance.

The sensual side
Oh I guess I'm a touchy sort of guy believing in soft loving, a happy carefree mood, and enjoying what may happen. That also relates to permitting what may happen. We live once, tomorrow may be the last day so waiting may very well be fruitless.

Importance of touch
I enjoy all aspects of being with a woman; wanting to share time, talk, look at her, touch her lovingly, kiss and cuddle as often as possible.

Perhaps I'm different than some men but I derive a terrific feeling from touching and providing pleasure for a woman - almost on the same level as experiencing that myself. It is not a self serving feeling, I experience a great desire that builds inside me when I am able to touch and lovingly caress.

Appearance
I am definitely one who is affected by appearance. Let's be very real here, many of us have that within us even if some will not admit it.

Some say you should love the person "Its what's inside that counts." I agree fully, but I do not limit the experience exclusively to what is inside. I believe in and practice loving the entire person. It is my observation that those who are so animate in their statements about "what's inside..." are the ones who lack the appearance they would like and justify it through those statements. When we are first attracted to another, we know absolutely nothing about the person other than the visual which is the precursor to other attraction. Once transcending the first we develop the appreciation of their inner qualities.  If we do not look good, we can inhibit many possibilities for contact, in our jobs, and in many other ways.

There are may appearance factors that I like in a woman. While I do not expect everything in one person, they still remain as attractive to me. Long hair of any color, sexy eyes, lashes and brows, nice eye and face makeup.

Necklaces, several rings, and bracelets are quite nice. Multiple earrings with colored stones seem to provide a special attraction along with larger hoops and long dangling ones.

Of course, clothes do make a difference too. Sometimes a rather plain appearance on an inherently beautiful woman can be enhanced dramatically through the right choice of makeup, jewelry, and clothing. Appearance coupled with a wonderful personality does turn me on!

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